Author: Anonymous Page 80

I wouldn't touch the metric measuring system with a 3.048m pole.

Language Science/Weather

If you teach a snake to fish, you can lead it to water but it won't drink..

Mixed metaphors

Neurotic: Someone who worries about things that didn’t happen in the past instead of worrying about things that won’t happen in the future.

Definitions People

A figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.

Appearance Body People Women

Don't count your chickens until you see the whites of their eyes.

Mixed metaphors

I just asked you what time it was, not how a watch works.

Communication Expressions

Ability: What you have to get by on if you don’t kiss-up to the boss.

Definitions

Necking: A passion fancy.

Definitions

I'd walk a mile in a camel's shoes to pass through the eye of a needle.

Mixed metaphors

This is really a jack of all trades and master of non.

Misspokements

Censorship: The power of the suppress.

Communication Wordplay

“Cut it out!” said Tom sharply.

Tom Swifties

It's a mute point.

Malaprops

Rhetoric: Language in a dress suit.

Definitions Language

Kleenex: Your daily nose-paper.

Definitions

Advertising: That which makes you think you’ve longed all your life for something you never even heard of.

Communication Definitions

Abstinence is a good thing, but it should be practiced in moderation.

Sex

He’d steal flies from a blind spider.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

Definitions Science/Weather

Mission Statement: A long, awkward sentence that demonstrates management’s inability to think clearly.

Definitions

Hair dresser: Someone who is able to create a hair style you will never be able to duplicate again.

Definitions