Author: Mark Twain Page 6

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence to never practice either of them.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Communication Language Places Speech

When his time comes I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Insults

Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Communication Opinion

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Problems

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education School

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Fools Intelligence Wisdom

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Intelligence Life Stupidity Success

Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake; he wanted it because it was forbidden.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

The first act occupied three hours… I enjoyed that in spite of the singing.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Reviews/Criticism

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Money

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Golf Sports

Carlyle said, “A lie cannot live;” it shows he did not know how to tell them.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Communication Language Lies

The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy – give one and take ten.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Communication Situations

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Money

To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler – and less trouble.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Problems Situations

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language Time

I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Occupations Work

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Individuals People Situations

New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Food/Drink

Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Learning Politicians