Author: Robin Williams

People say satire is dead; it's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Communication Government Insults

I feel like Adam when he said to Eve, “Back up, I don't know how big this gets.”

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Sex Situations

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Golf Insults Intelligence

Cricket is baseball on valium.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Baseball Sports

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Autos Things

Spring is natures way of saying, “Let's party!"

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Science/Weather

He makes a Macy's Thanksgiving Day float look ridiculous.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Appearance Insults

I thought lacrosse was what you find in la church.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Communication Language Sports

What's right is what's left when everything is wrong.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Beliefs Language Opinion

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Appearance Insults

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Relationships

My God, we've had cloning in the South for years… it's called cousins.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
America Places Relationships Science/Weather

You’ve got to give the guy some slack… he’s caught between Iraq and a hard-on.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Situations Wordplay

You know, you get that tattoo of barbed wire when you’re 18, but by the time you’re 80, it’s a picket fence.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Old Young

Death – to blink for an exceptionally long period of time.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Death Definitions

We had gay burglars the other night; they broke in and rearranged the furniture.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Situations

Do you realize we’re only a heart attack away from Bush being president?

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Death Government President

… doing what men do normally… bonding… endlessly congratulating each other… and wandering around in small groups looking for something to break…

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Men People

I think Nancy does most of his talking; you'll notice that she never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Communication Insults Speech

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Appearance Conflict Fights Individuals People Ugly

Ever notice that George Bush doesn't speak when Dick Cheney is drinking water?

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Communication People