Keyword: Laziness

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

New Zealand writer

Wouldn’t say soo-ee if the pigs were eating him

Most people are so lazy, they don't even exercise good judgement!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

I’m too lazy to work and too scared to steal.

professional baseball player

A loafer always has the correct time.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

You ever get a new cell phone and you're too lazy to transfer all the numbers over, so you just stop being friends with a bunch of people?

stand-up comedian, writer & actor

If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person – they will find an easier way to do it.

He’s so lazy, he’d marry a pregnant woman.

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

Laziness is the mother of nine inventions out of ten.

You ever look for the remote control and can’t find it, so you just decide, ‘Ah, it looks like I’m not watching TV.”

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor

I should have suspected my husband was lazy; on our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch."

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

He's too lazy to scratch his own ass.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

That boy wouldn’t work in a pie factory, afraid he’d get full and have to quit.

You’ll never be as lazy as whoever named the fireplace.

If these walls could talk they’d be like ‘damn bitch, you’re back in bed again!?

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian, actress & writer

He wouldn’t holler sooey if the hogs was eatin’ em.

I was born lazy; I am no lazier now than I was forty years ago, but that is because I reached the limit forty years ago.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist