Subject: Intelligence

I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,“Forget everything you know about slipcovers,” so I did, and it was a load off my mind; then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

If you run out of sound judgment, borrow.

(1919 – ) American sportswriter

No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.

(1900 – 1944) French aristocrat, writer, poet & pioneering aviator

Education: The path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director

He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea and that was wrong.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author

He is so stupid you can't trust him with an idea.

(1902 – 1968) novelist

Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun.

(1948 – ) American book critic

At twenty, we don’t care what the world thinks of us; at thirty, we worry about what it’s thinking of us; at forty, we discover it isn’t thinking about us at all.

Men and nations will act rationally towards each other only after all other possibilities have been exhausted.

Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.

An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist

My experience is that people are most likely to listen to reason when in bed.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Heat produced by pressure expands to fill the mind available, from which it can pass only to a cooler mind.

Sure I've got one; it's a perfect twenty-twenty.

American football player

I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.

(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet

The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer

A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic

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