Subject: Intelligence

Ideas pull the trigger, but instinct loads the gun.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author

Sometimes a majority simply means that all the fools are on the same side.

(1925 – ) writer

The head never rules the heart, but just becomes it's partner in crime.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author

If most people said what’s on their minds, they’d be speechless.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

He was born stupid, and greatly increased his birthright.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.


He is so stupid you can't trust him with an idea.

(1902 – 1968) novelist

I've been doing some extremely abstract paintings… no paint, no canvas; I just think about it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

My girlfriend said she wanted me to dominate her; so I said, “OK, let’s play scrabble.”

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian

She was short on intellect, but long on shape.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician

You’ve got the brain of a four year old boy… and I’ll bet he was glad to get rid of it.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Only someone who understands something absolutely can explain it so no one else can understand it.

One who has a clear conscience has a foggy memory.

Indecision may or may not be my problem.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman

Do not argue with an idiot; he/she will drag you down to his/her level and beat you with experience.

No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.

If he's so smart, how come he's dead?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

Sam, I’m very impressed. That’s a complex psychological concept coming from a man who has to write “L” and “R” on the bottom of his shoes.

(1949 – ) American actress

Nowadays a parlor maid as ignorant as Queen Victoria was when she came to the throne would be classed as mentally defective.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist













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