Subject: Intelligence

There are many inside dopes in politics and government.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.

(1889 – 1966) American humorist, writer, illustrator & cartoonist

You’re not too smart, are you? I like that in a man.

(1954 – ) American actress

 Concentration is the ability to think about absolutely nothing when it is absolutely necessary.

professional baseball player & manager

An intelligent person can make a dumber statement than an idiot. The idiot is limited to his imbecility.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number seventy-nine.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician

If you do not understand a particular word in a piece of technical writing, ignore it; the piece will make perfect sense without it.

Connoisseur: A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

I have an amazing ability to forget.

(1925 – 2005) American baseball player & manager

I understand, Moe, that you are in counter-intelligence, which, I assume, means you are against intelligence.

(1905–1982) American sportswriter

Pain: An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

He’s a fool that makes his doctor his heir.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.

(1894 – 1963) English writer

Never trust a man with short legs… his brain's too near his bottom.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.

(1901 – 1983) American film & television actor
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