Subject: Intelligence

If the converse of a statement is absurd, the original statement is an insult to the intelligence and should never have been said.

Beauty times brains equals a constant.

A fool and your money are soon partners.

Dan Quayle is more stupid than Ronald Reagan put together.

(1954 – ) cartoonist, screenwriter, producer & creator of The Simpsons

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Confucius perspired out more knowledge than the U.S. Senate has vocalized out in the last 50 years.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

My daddy always said that a man who walks around with a smile on his face all the time can’t possibly know what's going on.

U.S. Senator (1942 – 2015) U.S. senator (Tennessee) & actor

It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.

(1817 – 1862) American author, poet, philosopher,, naturalist & historian

Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

Sir Stafford has a brilliant mind until it’s made up.

(1864 –1945) Anglo-Scottish socialite, author & wit

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

Calvin Coolidge didn’t say much, and when he did, he didn’t say much.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator

A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.

British clerk of the House of Commons

A fishing rod is a stick with a worm at one end and a fool at the other.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer

An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist

You’ve heard of people living in a fool’s paradise? … well, Leonora has a duplex there.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist

Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I’ve known sheep that could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs!


A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

The world is more complicated than most of our theories make it out to be.