Subject: Sex (Page 3)

I don’t identify as transgender… I identify as tired; I’m just tired.

(1978 – ) Australian comedian, writer & actress
People Self Sex

Outside every thin woman is a fat man trying to get in.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Appearance Body Fat Men People Sex Women

If you’re going to have sex with a stranger …. always, always, always ask.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Sex

I don't think I'm good in bed; my husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Body Sex Situations

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Marriage Memory Problems Sex Wives

Self-abuse is the sincerest kind.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Activities Self Sex

Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So, you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail ‘em too.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in those tiny toilets.

American playwright, television writer & author
Men People Sex Situations

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director
Appearance Clothing Sex

Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids.

Children Family Sex Wordplay

I’m at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me, I’m profoundly grateful to her.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Age Old Sex

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older… little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman—stuff you pay good money for in later life.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Age Life Sex

When a guy writes a scene where a woman does a deviant sex act on camera, it’s objectifying; but when a woman writes it, it’s feminism.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Men People Sex Women

Someone asked me recently – what would I rather give up, food or sex; neither! … I'm not falling for that one again, Wife!

(1980 – ) English comedian & novelist
Food/Drink Marriage Sex

Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Men Sex Things Women

We had different ideas as to what the problem was: she bought me Viagra; I bought her a treadmill.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian, radio personality, author & actor
Activities Exercise Sex

My husband asked me to talk dirty to him during sex; I told him to go f**k himself.


Communication Sex Speech

Sex is a two-way treat.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Sex

And just remember, the best thing about kids… is making them!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex TV/Movie Quotes

Sex is the poor man’s polo.

(1906 – 1963) playwright, screenwriter & socialist
Sex Sports

President Clinton apparently gets so much action that every couple of weeks they have to spray WD-40 on his zipper.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Insults Sex