Subject: Time

Time is money, especially when you are talking to a lawyer or buying a commercial.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor

Women with "pasts" interest men because men hope that history will repeat itself.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

The effort expended by the bureaucracy in defending any error is in direct proportion to the size of the error.

The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.

(1916 – 1997) newspaper journalist

Norm: I wish I had time for a hobby.
Cliff: Norm, you’ve got time to make your own coal.

(1947 – ) American actor & entrepreneur

Today, too many workers spend their time trying to make their weekends meet.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Any renovation project on an old house will cost twice as much and take three times as long as originally estimated.

Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

I don’t like to look back in retrospect.

professional football player

It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.

(1868 – 1938) English humorist, editor, publisher & writer

I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it.

cartoon character, Peanuts (Charles Schulz, 1922 – 2000) creator & cartoonist

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

What men learn from history is that men do not learn from history.

He who hesitates is poor.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer

So little time and so little to do.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

The faster he goes, the quicker he’ll get to the pits; the slower he goes, the longer it will take.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator

The speed of time is one second per second.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

History is the sum total of things that could have been avoided.

(1876 – 1967) German statesman

I often think about my future wife and how lax she's been about getting in touch with me.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian













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