Subject: Time

My friend Winnie is a procrastinator…. he didn’t get his birthmark until he was eight years old.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Some have greatness thrust upon them, but not lately.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor

Even if a farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor

It’s not perfect, but to me on balance Right Now is a lot better than the Good Old Days.

(1939 – 2012) Irish writer & speaker

I don’t want to say the wait was long, but the guy in front of me was being treated for a musket wound.

(1962 – ) American stand-up comedian, writer, actor & radio host

Yesterday: The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist

You always say 'I'll quit when I start to slide,' and then one morning you wake up and realize you done slid.

(1921 – 1989) American boxing champion

A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years.

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

Most people still believe in a hard day’s work, but they also believe it should be spread out over the course of a week or two.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

There are only two types of computers in the world: those that waste your precious time and those that waste your precious time faster.

Punctuality: The art of arriving for an appointment just in time to be indignant at the tardiness of the other party.

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet

You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president

I was a peripheral visionary; I could see the future, but only way off to the side.I was a peripheral visionary; I could see the future, but only way off to the side.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Time is waste of money.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

I'm a bisexual; I get it maybe twice a year.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

Live each day as if it were your last… because one day, you’ll be right.

(1924 – 1992) English comedian & actor
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