Subject: Time

For sincere advice and the correct time, call any number at random at 3:00 a.m.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Activities Sleep Time

When it’s three o’clock in New York, it’s still 1938 in London.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian
England Places Time

If Congress must do a painful thing, the thing must be done in an odd-number year.

Congress Government Murphy’s Laws Time

The only things that start on time are those that you're late for.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Time

Shirley Temple had charisma as a child… but it cleared up as an adult.

(1930 – 1978) American comedian
Characteristics Time

American History Is A Thing of the Past

Headlines History

Punctuality: The art of guessing correctly how late the other party is going to be.

Definitions Time

Time is a waste of money.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Money Time

This is an age in which one cannot find common sense without a search warrant.

(1941 – ) columnist, commentator & editor
Intelligence Time

Worrying about the future is a thing of the past.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Emotions Future History Time

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer.

(1924 – 2009) English broadcaster, writer, politician & chef
Activities Age Health Time

I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time,” so I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Eating Food/Drink History Time

The last rush-hour express bus to your neighborhood leaves five minutes before you get off work.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Time Travel

It’s a battle with himself and with the ticking fingers of the clock.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Misspokements Time

So little time and so little to do.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Activities Time

Do you know it was a year ago today?

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Time

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
People Situations Time

You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Husbands Marriage Time

I recommend you to take care of the minutes, for the hours will take care of themselves.

Lord Chesterfield (1694 – 1773) British statesman
Life Time

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

History Murphy’s Laws People Wisdom

If I’m not back in five minutes… just wait longer.

(1962 – ) Canadian-American actor & comedian
Time TV/Movie Quotes