Author: Anonymous Page 5

“It’s become much bigger,” said Tom with a groan.

Tom Swifties

For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat.

Animals Cats

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Situations

Roulette: A wheel that seldom takes a turn for the bettor.

Activities Definitions Games

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

Animals

“This is where I keep my arrows,” said Tom quiveringly.

Tom Swifties

Window: A looking-out glass.

Definitions Things

Don’t cast swine before bears.

Mixed metaphors

Pediatrician: Man of little patients.

Definitions Doctors Health Wordplay

We're cooking on all four cylinders.

Mixed metaphors

Diamond: A woman’s idea of a stepping stone to success.

Definitions Things

Summer Camps: Those places where little boys go for mother’s vacation.

Activities Definitions

Ambition: Goaled rush.

Definitions

“There’s nothing wrong with demons,” Tom said implicitly.

Tom Swifties

“Who was in the sauna with you while I was at work today?” she asked hotly.

Tom Swifties

They tried to make me the escape goat.

Malaprops

Seeing a buzzard catch a rare phalarope is in bird-watching terms, like killing two birds with one stone.

Mixed metaphors

“You dance just like Fred Astaire,” she said gingerly.

Tom Swifties

There are three kinds of people… those who can count & those who can't.

People

She is so short… you can see her feet on her driver's license picture.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

“Don’t you know my name?” asked Tom swiftly.

Tom Swifties