Subject: Activities (Page 2)

1. The more tangled your line is, the better the fishing is around you. 2. The time available to go fishing shrinks as the fishing season draws nearer. 3. The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Corollary: The more elaborate and costly the equipment, the greater chance of having to stop at the fish market on the way home.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Sports

I love Mexico because it’s a giant dollar store.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Places Shopping

I liked Amsterdam… I spent $2,000 window shopping.

(1957 – ) American comedian
Places Sex Shopping

There are more fish taken out of a stream than ever were in it.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Activities Beliefs Honesty Lies

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Activities Games Money

Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Activities Clothing Sex Things Women

Air Travel: Seeing less and less of more and more.

Activities Definitions

Several members of our youth department are collecting donations for Operation Graduation. Funds will be used for a drug and alcohol party following graduation on May 29th.

Alcohol Church Bulletins Drugs

Never give a party if you will be the most interesting person there.

American film & television producer
Activities People

Nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught.

Activities Honesty Lies

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people: the good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics Situations Sleep

No, you didn’t wake me up; I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Sleep Yogi-isms

I swam in the dead sea when it was only critically ill.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Activities Health Places

Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.

(1899 – 1977) university dean, president & chancellor
Activities Exercise

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much sleep.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Animals Conflict Situations Sleep

If it feels good, it’s ugly. If it looks good, it hurts.

Activities Murphy’s Laws Shopping

The one who snores will fall asleep first.

Murphy’s Laws Proverbs Situations Sleep

With my ol’ man, I got no respect. He told me to start at the bottom. He was teaching me how to swim.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Mothers Self

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Activities Sex

The slowest checker is always at the quick-check-out lane.

Murphy’s Laws Shopping

My kitchen floor is sticky, and I had to do something about it.. so finally I went out and bought some slippers.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
Activities Housework