Subject: Age (Page 22)

The hands on my biological clock are giving me the finger.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian

Life not only begins at forty – it begins to show.

The young are generally full of revolt, and are often pretty revolting about it.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

A woman is as young as her knees.

(1934 – ) British fashion designer

After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

Old age is when you know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer

Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions – because they know all the answers.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Before borrowing from a friend, decide which you need most.

That man so old… he’s older than his birthday.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian

The number of women a man find attractive is truly proportionate to his age.

If you have a funny costume, you can’t really wear it when you get older.

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host

If you want to be adored by your peers and have standing ovations wherever you go – live to be over ninety.

(1887 – 1995) American theater produce, director & playwright, screenwriter & film director

I don’t plan to grow old gracefully; I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Middle Age: That period in life when your idea of getting ahead is staying even.

You’ll have to ask somebody older than me.

(1883 – 1983) American composer, lyricist & pianist

You know, you get that tattoo of barbed wire when you’re 18, but by the time you’re 80, it’s a picket fence.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

I’ll never make the mistake of being 70 again.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

I've only got one wrinkle and I'm sitting on it.

(1875 – 1997) French, 120 year old woman