Subject: Age (Page 3)

I’m from Chicago, but I pay child support in Seattle; I’m just kidding – I don’t pay child support.

(1975 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Age Children Family Marriage Places

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Failure Friends Old People Success

The older you get, the better you realize you were.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Age Characteristics Old

Until I was 13, I thought my name was ‘Shut Up.’

(1943 – ) American football player
Age Characteristics Communication Self Young

The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Children Family Mothers Old

Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Age Health Old Young

While you can only be young once, you can always be immature.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Age Young

The thing about getting old is the number of things you think that you can’t say aloud because it would be too shocking.

(1919 – 2013) British writer, poet & playwright
Age Old Speech

Old age is like everything else; to make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.

(1899 – 1987) American dancer, choreographer, singer, musician & actor
Age Old

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

(1911 – 1989) television actress
Age Characteristics Honesty Lies Old Young

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much… then again, don’t drink too little.

Age Alcohol Murphy’s Laws Old

The comfort of turning 49 is the realization that you are now too old to die young.

Age Death Murphy’s Laws Old

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Age

Most people my age are dead at the present time.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Death Life Misspokements Old People Time

Retire? … I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Entertainment Old Work

As I get older I'm going to hear "You look great" a lot less than I'm going to hear "You look sick.”

American stand-up comedian
Age Appearance Health Old

Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning; old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Definitions Old

Younger and younger, our children are seeing the sippy-cup as half empty.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Age Children Emotions Family

We grow too soon old and too late smart.

Age Old Proverbs Wisdom

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Old

When you’re in your 20s and 30s and you drop some weight, people notice, they’re nice about it… they’re like, ‘Hey man, you look good!' … but when you’re in your 40s and you lose weight, people are like, ‘You doin’ all right?'

(1963 – ) American comedian & author
Age Old