Subject: Animals (Page 6)

Cats… a standing rebuke to behavioural scientist.


Animals Cats

The dog has seldom been successful in pulling Man up to its level of sagacity, but Man has frequently dragged the dog down to his.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Animals Dogs

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Animals Dogs

FREE TO GOOD HOME – Beautiful 6 mo. old male kitten — orange & caramel tabby, playful, friendly very affectionate, ideal for family w/ kids. OR Handsome 32 yr. old husband – personable, funny, good job, but doesn't like cats. Says he goes or cat goes. Call Jennifer 265-…. — come see both and decide which you'd like.

Animals Cats Classifieds Husbands Marriage

I’m disappointed with every movie about sharks that closes with “The End” instead of “Fin.”

Animals Entertainment Film

Yellow Perch Decline to be Studied

Animals Headlines

I could tell by their audible gasps that people on the beach where jealous of me when I found six shark’s teeth; locating them wasn’t really the problem, but pulling them out of my leg was.

(1982 – ) American author
Animals

You're a mouse studying to be a rat.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Animals Insults

Racehorse: A barn athlete.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you strapped toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Cats Food/Drink Things

How are you supposed to be able to tell when cat food has gone bad?

(1964 – ) American
Animals Cats

I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Animals Cats Dogs

Because he spills his seed on the ground.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Animals

This bear was six foot seven in his stocking feet and had shoes on.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Animals TV/Movie Quotes

I don't have to walk my dog anymore… I walked him all at once.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Dogs

When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Age Animals Dogs Friends People Relationships

Did you know that a possum walking through a cornfield sounds exactly like three men with an ax?

(1954 – ) American stand-up comedian
Animals

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Animals Cats

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Animals Dogs Ideas Intelligence

A cat walking into a room containing twelve seated people will jump into the lap of the person who hates cats the most.

Animals Cats Murphy’s Laws

I saw a mosquito in Alaska so big… I could see his brand.

Animals Exaggerations Places