Subject: Animals (Page 9)

You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
Animals Children Insults

Most jobs resemble a sled dog team: no one gets a change of scenery, except the lead dog.

Animals Dogs Murphy’s Laws Situations Work

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer.


Animals Cats

You can’t lose a homing pigeon; if your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.

(1981 – ) English writer, stand-up comedian & actress
Animals

This bear was six foot seven in his stocking feet and had shoes on.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Animals TV/Movie Quotes

Interesting fact: a shark will only attack you if you’re wet.

(1963 – ) English comedian & actor
Animals

Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.


Animals Things

Generally speaking, I think it is fair to say that I am a friend to the creatures of the earth when I am not busy eating them or wearing them.

(1971 – ) American author, actor & humorist
Animals

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Cats People

FOUND – Gay dog – was crossing Dundas St. on Saturday, July 14th… won’t stop humping my dog! Please come get ‘em. Call 778-….

Animals Dogs Signs

Zoo: A pleasant and instructive wildlife park, lately denounced for depriving animals of their right to starve or be eaten alive in their natural habitats.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Animals Definitions

My girlfriend’s dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one: She was livid… “What am I going to do with two dead dogs?”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Animals Dogs Wordplay

It's a good thing we have gravity, or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there; hunters would be all confused.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Science/Weather

Did you know a bird is the only animal that you can throw and you’d be helping it?

Comedian
Animals

How to Preserve Animal and Other Specimens in Clear Plastic

Animals Book Titles

Circus: A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Communication Definitions Fools Language People

Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Animals Dogs

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Animals Cats

To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction – and a cat; the last ingredient is usually hardest to come by.


Animals Cats

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Animals

That dog was so lazy he leaned against a fence to bark.

Animals Characteristics Dogs Expressions