Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 19)

Stomach: A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion.

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

Eddie: In this body there is a thin person dying to get out.

Gran: Just the one dear?

(1925 – ) English actress

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

I don't think I'm good in bed; my husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Probably the worst thing you can hear when you’re wearing a bikini is “Good for you!”


Al, why don't you get a haircut?

(1897 – 1961) American actress

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian

A quarter-ounce of chocolate = four pounds of fat.

If it weren't for my Adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

My body has no sexual meaning anymore, so if I can make people laugh with it, at least it's being used.

Louis Szekely (1967 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & director

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)

John Conteh has a neck like a stately home staircase.

English boxer

One out of every three Americans… weighs as much as the other two.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor

I tried cocaine to lose weight… it just made me eat faster.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

I was born with an adult head and a tiny body… like a Peanuts character.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.