Subject: Appearance » Fat

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Appearance Body Fat

Alfred Hitchcock: One look at you and I know there's famine in the land.

Shaw’s reply: One look at you, Mr. Hitchcock, and I know who caused it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Appearance Body Fat Insults

If you can’t tell the difference between a spoon and a ladle, then you’re fat.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Body Fat

Every time I breathe, they like, ‘Why you breathing so hard?'…So I can live!


Appearance Fat Self

One out of every three Americans… weighs as much as the other two.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat

Do you travel as one person or do you get a party rate of ten?

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Appearance Fat TV/Movie Quotes

I’m so fat and I’m so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself – but the rope broke.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Fat

He is so fat… when he steps on a scale, it reads "one at a time, please."

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

I burned 60 calories… that should take care of the peanut I ate in 1962.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Activities Body Exercise Fat

He is so fat… he's on both sides of the family.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat People Women

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Fat Hockey

If you told her to haul butt, she would have to make two trips.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

She is so fat… when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

My girlfriend was so fat her clothes were made by Omar the tent maker.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat Girlfriends

All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, ‘See, there’s a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.’

American baseball player
Appearance Baseball Fat Sports

You always know when he's ready for sex, ’cause naked, he looked like one of them butterball turkeys with the little pop-up timer.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Fat People Sex

She is so fat… she laid on the beach and people tried to push her back into the ocean.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

He is so fat… his driver's license says, “picture continued on other side.”

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

The most dangerous thing about American food?… the portions.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Appearance Body Fat Food/Drink

A quarter-ounce of chocolate = four pounds of fat.

Body Fat Murphy’s Laws