Subject: Appearance (Page 12)

She looks like something that would eat its young.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Appearance Insults

When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Appearance Entertainment Music

Beauty is only sin deep.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Appearance Wordplay

Terry Downes' face looked as if he had slept on it.

English broadcaster, journalist & author
Appearance Boxing Sports

He makes a Macy's Thanksgiving Day float look ridiculous.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Appearance Insults

I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.'

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Clothing Marriage

I've never been an intellectual, but I have this look.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Intelligence

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Body Women

She looks like she combs her hair with an eggbeater.

(1881 – 1972) American gossip columnist
Appearance Insults

Most of the people who came for dancing lessons had Rumba ambitions and minuet bodies.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Appearance Body Dance People

Looking fifty is great – if you're sixty.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Old

A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Clothing Money People Women

She's so fat… when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Old

I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don't have to.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Age Clothing Old

He was young – He was fair – But the Injuns – Raised his hair

Conflict Epitaphs Hair Young

A lot of bars have black lights, and when a bar has black lights, everybody looks very cool… except for me because I was under the impression that the mustard stain came out.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Situations

She’s a tall drink of water.

Appearance Body Expressions

She's all done up like a well-kept grave.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Age Appearance Insults Old

I don’t think George Clooney has a bathroom mirror, just a note taped to the wall that says “Don’t worry about it.”

comedian
Appearance Body People

She resembles the Venus de Milo: she is very old, has no teeth, and has white spots on her yellow skin.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Appearance Insults