Subject: Appearance (Page 2)

If you want to find guys with small penises, go to the Hummer dealership.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Appearance Body

The coffee has burned my face! I'm going to be distorted!

Appearance Malaprops

He has left his body to science… and science is contesting the will.

(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality
Appearance Body Insults Science/Weather

If you can’t tell the difference between a spoon and a ladle, then you’re fat.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Body Fat

Every woman should marry an archaeologist because she grows increasingly attractive to him as she grows increasingly to resemble a ruin.

(1890 – 1976) British crime writer of novels, short stories & plays
Appearance Occupations Work

Eddie: In this body there is a thin person dying to get out.

Gran: Just the one dear?

(1925 – ) English actress
Appearance Body Fat TV/Movie Quotes

This guy's tough. He had a face that looked like it'd hold two days of rain.

Los Angeles Dodgers’ manager
Appearance Baseball Sports

I belong to a gym now… well, let me rephrase that: I don't belong there at all, but I go.

(1969 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body

She has a four-pocket backend.

Appearance Expressions Fat

If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Body Fat

Why don't you get a haircut… you look like a chrysanthemum?

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Appearance Insults

I don’t consider myself bald… I’m simply taller than my hair.

American actor & comedian
Appearance

He has turned almost alarmingly blond – he's gone past platinum, he must be plutonium; his hair is coordinated with his teeth.

(1919 – 2001) American film critic
Appearance Insults

If you have to release bad news to the public, it would help if you are not ugly.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Ugly

I think the reason guys like women in leather outfits so much is because they have that ‘new car’ smell.

Appearance Clothing People Women

Relax, Georgie, I'm just making my collar and cuffs match.

(1908 – 1942) American actress
Appearance Body

She’s so fat she wears stretch kaftans.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Clothing Fat

I saw a guy today who had rings and hooks and pens and antennas hanging out his cheeks and his eyebrows; looked like somebody hit him in the head with a tackle box.

(1973 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body

I look like I was sent for and couldn’t go.

Appearance

He was a man of great statue.

Appearance Body Malaprops

The loveliest of faces are to be seen by moonlight, when one sees half with the eye and half with the fancy.

Appearance Proverbs