Subject: Appearance (Page 20)

I look like the wrath of grapes.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Appearance Emotions Food/Drink

No one is as ugly as their passport photo.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws Ugly

He was a man of great statue.

Appearance Body Malaprops

She could eat an apple through a picket fence.

Appearance Expressions

I not only get recognized – I get recognized from behind.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Appearance Body

My girlfriend has lovely colored eyes; I particularly like the blue one.

Appearance Body

She looks like she combs her hair with an eggbeater.

(1881 – 1972) American gossip columnist
Appearance Insults

Baroness Summerskill: Mr Cooper, have you looked in the mirror lately and seen the state of your nose?
Cooper: Well, madam, have you looked in the mirror and seen the state of your nose? Boxing is my excuse. What's yours?

English boxing champion
Appearance Boxing Insults Sports

Strip Teaser: One who makes a bare living.

Body Definitions Occupations

So short he has to stand on a box to kick a duck in the ass.

Appearance Body Expressions

Never darken my Dior again!

(1894 – 1989) Canadian actress
Appearance Clothing Situations

Nowadays, a balanced diet is when every McNugget weighs the same!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Appearance Body Fat

I was six foot one inch when I started fighting, but with all the uppercuts I'm up to six foot five inches.

American boxer
Appearance Boxing Sports

He had the sort of face that makes you realize God does have a sense of humor.

American author
Appearance Insults

I told my wife that there was a chance that radiation might hurt my reproductive organs, but she said in her opinion it’s a small price to pay.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Appearance Body

I ain’t afraid to die fat… that’s my pallbearers’ worry.


Appearance Death Fat

Elizabeth Taylor is wearing Orson Welles designer jeans.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Clothing Fat

Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.

(1898 – 1971) American humorist
Age Appearance

I always take blushing either for a sign of guilt, or of ill breeding.

(1670 – 1729) English playwright & poet
Appearance Characteristics

Little things start to change in your life — like your socks start to get tight.

(1953 – ) American comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat

It’s a great shock at the age of five or six to find that in a world of Gary Coopers you are the Indian.

(1924 – 1987) American novelist, writer, playwright, poet & civil rights activist
Appearance People