Subject: Appearance (Page 24)

If I look confused it is because I am thinking.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Appearance Intelligence Misspokements Speech Thinking

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Fat Golf Sports

She is so fat… at the zoo, the elephants throw peanuts at her.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Fat Hockey

A homely face and no figure have aided many women heavenward.

(1861 – 1950) American writer
Appearance Body People Women

She looked at me like a cow looking at a new gate.

Appearance Characteristics Expressions Intelligence

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it. It’s too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Appearance Body TV/Movie Quotes

There are two reasons why I’m in show business, and I’m standing on both of them.

(1916 – 1973) American actress, dancer, singer & pin-up girl
Appearance Body Entertainment

He is so fat… he had his own area code.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Appearance Body Fat

As soon as they get married, they all get these big old guts on them; that's not from drinking beer – that's from swallowing pride.

stand-up comedian
Alcohol Body Fat Husbands Marriage Men People

Smile, it enhances your face value.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, talks like a duck… it probably needs a little more time in the microwave.


Appearance

He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body People

I am not overweight; I fluctuate between chubby and curvy!

(1979 – ) American actress, comedian & writer
Appearance Body Fat

I wear my heart on my sleeve… I wear my liver on my pant leg.


Appearance Body Characteristics Emotions Situations

My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick.

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Appearance Health Husbands Marriage Ugly

Hockey is a sport for white men; basketball is a sport for black men; golf is a sport for white men dressed like pimps.

professional golfer
Appearance Clothing Golf Sports

Eddie: In this body there is a thin person dying to get out.

Gran: Just the one dear?

(1925 – ) English actress
Appearance Body Fat TV/Movie Quotes

She is so fat… the police told her to break it up.

Appearance Exaggerations Fat

Never darken my Dior again!

(1894 – 1989) Canadian actress
Appearance Clothing Situations