Subject: Beliefs (Page 17)

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Clothing Communication Lies Truth World

Book Of Ecclesiasticles

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Malaprops

One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Facts Situations

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Honesty Truth

I’m saying I can’t afford to make no donations to no Catholic charities. If you need the money that bad, wire the Pope, he’s got more money than God.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Beliefs Religion TV/Movie Quotes

Very sorry can't come; lie follows by post.

(1846 – 1919) British Admiral & member of Parliament
Characteristics Honesty Lies

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Beliefs God Sex

At first a golfer excuses a dismal performance by claiming bad lies; with experience, he covers up with better ones.

Beliefs Golf Honesty Lies Sports

It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.

(1928 – 1982) American novelist, short story writer & essayist
Beliefs Intelligence Mind

He's so honest you can shoot dice with him on the telephone.

(1931 – ) television newscaster
Characteristics Honesty

Advice: the smallest current coin.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Opinion

I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it.

(1944 – ) American author & activist
Beliefs

God heals and the doctor takes the fee.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Beliefs Doctors God Health Money

I love seeing [the Pope] in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass… that’s faith in action folks; you know he’s got God on his side.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Beliefs Religion

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

Characteristics God Life

Nature will tell you a direct lie if she can.

Lies Murphy’s Laws

Liberal: Someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

The best time to give advice to your children is while they’re still young enough to believe you know what you’re talking about.

Beliefs Children Family Intelligence Opinion

I always advise people never to give advice.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Beliefs Opinion

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Beliefs Opinion

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Clothing Things