Subject: Beliefs (Page 6)

Liberty: Consists in giving everyone full right to mind everyone else’s business.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Honesty Truth

Why's God always got such wacky shit to say?… when's the last time you heard somebody say, 'God told me to get a muffin and a cup of tea and cool out, man.'

American comedian & actor
Beliefs Communication God Speech

… you're so crooked that if you swallowed a nail you'd shit a corkscrew.

(1898 – 1979) British military commander
Honesty Insults

Nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught.

Activities Honesty Lies

God, whom you doubtless remember as that quaint old subordinate of General Douglas MacArthur…

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Insults Opinion

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Emotions Entertainment God Laughter

Don't get me wrong, I believe in God; I just don't trust anybody who works for him.

television executive & comedian
Beliefs God

People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news.

(1904 – 1963) American journalist
Beliefs Communication Facts Reading/Writing

Isn’t it funny how everyone in favor of abortion has already been born.

(1956 – ) English actor
Beliefs

When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Beliefs Government

What do you call an honest Iranian businessman? … Asif.

(1965 – ) British-Iranian comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Honesty People Places

The difference between a Northern Baptist and a Southern Baptist was that a Northern Baptist says, "There ain't no Hell," and a Southern Baptist says, "The hell 'ere ain't."

(1926 – 1983) American comedian & singer
Beliefs Religion

If you are not an idealist by the time you are twenty you don’t have a heart, but if you are still an idealist by thirty you don’t have a head.

(1886 – 1918) American progressive writer & intellectual
Beliefs

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs God

It was once said truly that the greatest American superstition was belief in facts.

(1901 – 1970) American journalist & author
America Beliefs Facts

If Columbus had had an advisory committee he would probably still be at the dock.

(1908 – 1990) American statesman, jurist & attorney
Beliefs Opinion People

It is common sense to take a method and try it… if it fails, admit it frankly and try another; but above all, try something.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Beliefs Success

A liberal is man who will give away everything he doesn’t own.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Beliefs

No matter how often the lie is shown to be false, there will still remain a percentage of people who believe it true.

Beliefs Honesty Lies Murphy’s Laws

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Honesty Lies People Self Truth