Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Characteristics
(Page 32)
If you don't know where you're going, any train will get you there.
Proverb
Characteristics
Goals
Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics
Communication
Definitions
Language
Hypocrisy
Politeness
He is a modest little man who has a good deal to be modest about.
Winston Churchill
(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics
Insults
Opinion
About Clement Attlee
Modesty
Tis more blessed to give than to receive; for example, wedding presents.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics
Giving
Receiving
Wedding presents
I’m not good and tired, just tired.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics
Good
Honesty: The fear of being caught.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Definitions
Honesty
I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics
Cigars
Moderation
Smoke
I would rather be an opportunist and float than go to the bottom with my principles round my neck.
Stanley Baldwin
(1867 – 1947) British politician
Characteristics
Self
Principles
Deep down, I'm pretty superficial.
Ava Gardner
(1922 – 1990) American actress
Characteristics
Misspokements
A little ambiguity never hurt anyone.
Suhor's Law
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
Ambiguity
He wants to be the bride at every wedding, the corpse at every funeral, and the baby at every Christening.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
(1884 – 1980) author & wit
Characteristics
Of her father Theodore Roosevelt
Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.
Frank ‘Kin’ Hubbard
(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics
Energy
Patience
I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics
Past
Situations
Truth
Good
I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.
Dorothy Parker
(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics
Money
Wealth
Good
Millionaire
Borrow money from pessimists; they don't expect it back.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Money
Pessimism
He's so honest you can shoot dice with him on the telephone.
Dan Rather
(1931 – ) television newscaster
Characteristics
Honesty
Dice
George Christian
In any group of eagles, you will find some turkeys.
Allaln’s Theorem
Characteristics
Murphy’s Laws
Allan Guerrina
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin
(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Characteristics
Work
Rat race
In 1969 I published a small book on Humility; it was a pioneering work which has not, to my knowledge, been superseded.
Francis Pakenham (Lord Longford)
Characteristics
Humility
I wear my heart on my sleeve… I wear my liver on my pant leg.
Rod Schmidt
Appearance
Body
Characteristics
Emotions
Situations
I learned in business that you had to be very careful when you told somebody that’s working for you to do something, because the chances were very high he’d do it; in government, you don’t have to worry about that.
George Schultz
(1920 – ) U.S. Secretary of State economist, statesman & businessman
Characteristics
Government
Occupations
People
Work
Business
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