Subject: Characteristics (Page 32)

Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald.”

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Characteristics Men People Wealth

The sterile, arid environment created by truly jarring and discordant signage and gargantuan billboards is a turnoff.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Characteristics

Heaven goes by favor; for if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Beliefs Characteristics Dogs

I’ve met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Characteristics Insults

I actually thought about getting breast implants because I'm a radical, militant feminist and a hypocrite, it turns out.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Appearance Body Characteristics

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Animals Characteristics Dogs Opinion

Prejudiced people are all alike.

Characteristics People

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Time

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage Time Truth Wives

There's one way to find out if a man is honest – ask him… if he says, “Yes,” you know he is a crook.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics Honesty People

A skeptic is a person who would ask God for his ID card.


Characteristics God

I never exaggerate; you can ask Tipper or any one of our 11 daughters.

(1948 – ) U.S. vice president & politician, author & environmentalist
Characteristics Communication

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics Insults

Indecision may or may not be my problem.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman
Characteristics Intelligence Problems

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Characteristics

She's generous to a fault… if it's her own.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics Communication

A bleeding heart can be hell on the carpeting.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Body Characteristics Situations Things

Trust everybody – but cut the cards.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Characteristics Honesty

Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Characteristics Men People Women

When it’s third and ten, you can take the milk drinkers and I’ll take the whiskey drinkers every time.

professional football player
Characteristics Football Sports

Why is it that nobody understands me and everybody likes me?

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Characteristics People Self Understanding