Subject: Characteristics (Page 32)

Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Activities Beliefs Characteristics Clothing Lies Sports

I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?

comedian
Books Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing

Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.

(1884 – 1949) American humorist & literary critic
Characteristics

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Death People Self

Humor is reason gone mad.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics Emotions

Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Characteristics People

I am a deeply superficial person.

(1928 – 1987) painter, printmaker & filmmaker
Characteristics People Self

Being powerful is like being a lady; if you have to tell people you are, you aren't.

(1925 – 2013) British prime minister & politician
Characteristics Communication

Golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well.

(1912 – 2003) American sports writer
Characteristics Golf Honesty Lies Sports

Misery no longer loves company; nowadays it insists on it.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Characteristics Emotions

That dog was so lazy he leaned against a fence to bark.

Animals Characteristics Dogs Expressions

When I was losing, they called me nuts; when I was winning they called me eccentric.

(1928 – 2001) American basketball coach
Characteristics Sports

Life is just a bowl of pits.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Food/Drink Life

… it was a Jewish porno film… one minute of sex and nine minutes of guilt.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Characteristics People

He lies so bad he hires somebody to call his dogs.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty Lies

Be moderate in all things, including moderation.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics

The higher a monkey climbs, the more you can see of its ass.

(Vinegar Joe) (1883 – 1946) American army general
Characteristics People

There is a good deal to be said for blushing, if one can do it at the proper moment.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics Emotions

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

Characteristics Men People Women

The last person who quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong – until the next person quits or is fired.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Problems

Don't tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics