Subject: Communication (Page 20)

When four or more men get together, they talk about sports; when four or more women get together, they talk about men.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Communication Conversation Men People Speech Sports Women

A toastmaster is a man who eats a meal he doesn’t want so he can get up and tell a lot of stories he doesn’t remember to people who’ve already heard them.

(1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer
Communication Occupations People Work

I wrote a script and gave it to a guy that reads scripts, and he read it and said he really likes it, but he thinks I need to rewrite it; I said, f**k that, I’ll just make a copy.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Reading/Writing

Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none.

(1864 – 1910) French author
Communication People Reading/Writing

As our President said in his renegurial address.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication Malaprops Speech

I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Books Communication Misspokements Reading/Writing

I never thought you could win a Pulitzer just for quoting Tommy Lasorda correctly.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Baseball Communication People Reading/Writing Self Sports

Coward: One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Places

Sex Education: Sermon on the mount.

Definitions Sex Wordplay

Slander: To lie, or tell the truth about someone.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions

Anything in parentheses can be ignored.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.

(1897 – 1972) broadcast journalist & gossip columnist
Communication Speech

Is "tired old cliche" one?


Communication Language

People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves.

British stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Communication Things Wordplay

During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me; just the other night she called me from a hotel.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Sex Speech

Bill wrote a book at Yale; I read one.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Books Communication Reading/Writing

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian
Books Communication Sex

Two old maids on a beach, streaker ran past… one had a stroke, the other one couldn't reach.

(1930 – 2007) English comedian & nightclub owner
Miscellaneous Wordplay

The Houston Astros play in a vast indoor stadium known as the Astrodome, but the problem is they field a half-vast team.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports Wordplay

“I need to talk to you” is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you’ve ever done in your life.

(1979 – ) American stand-up comedian & author
Communication Relationships