Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Communication
(Page 20)
Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends.
Tom Waits
(1949 – ) American singer-songwriter, composer & actor
Communication
Friends
People
Wordplay
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
Newton's Little-known Seventh Law
Language
Murphy’s Laws
Bird in the hand
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Health
Misspokements
Speech
Psychiatrist
We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
Buck Henry
(1930 – ) actor, writer, film & television director
Communication
Government
Language
President
George W. Bush
The most beautiful words in the English language are not “I love you,” but … “benign.”
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Health
Speech
From "Deconstructing Harry"
She's generous to a fault… if it's her own.
Arthur ‘Bugs’ Baer
(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics
Communication
Criticism
Generosity
The next best thing to being clever is being able to quote someone who is.
Mary Pettibone Poole
author
Communication
Intelligence
Wisdom
Quoting
The real reason Milton went blind was to avoid reading unsolicited manuscripts.
Rita Mae Brown
1944) is an American writer & screenwriter
Communication
Reading/Writing
Situations
Blindness
Manuscripts
Poet John Milton
One good turn gets most of the blanket.
Ellenberg's Theory
Communication
Murphy’s Laws
Blankets
Linguist: A person who can be misunderstood in many languages.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Language
Linguist
Women should be obscene and not heard.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Language
Speech
Women
Obscene
I used to think 'Tora! Tora! Tora!' was about a Rabbi taking inventory.
Dick Cavett
(1936 – ) television talk show host
Beliefs
Books
Communication
Reading/Writing
Religion
Rabbi
Torah
Just between you and I, case is important.
The 19 Rules for Good Riting - 2
Communication
Language
Murphy’s Laws
Reading/Writing
With the birth of a child you lose two novels.
Candia McWilliam
(1955 – ) Scottish writer
Books
Children
Communication
Family
Reading/Writing
They told me how Mr Gladstone read Homer for fun, which I thought served him right.
Winston Churchill
(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics
Insults
Reading/Writing
On William Gladstone
Matrimony: The splice of life.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Wordplay
Matrimony
A full tongue and an empty brain are seldom parted.
Francis Quarles
(1592 – 1644) English writer
Communication
Fools
Intelligence
Speech
Rock journalism is people who can’t write, interviewing people who can’t talk, in order to provide articles for people who can’t read.
Frank Zappa
(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Communication
Reading/Writing
Reviews/Criticism
Rock journalism
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
Eleanor Roosevelt
(1884 – 1962) diplomat & reformer & first lady
Communication
Speech
I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller,' he said 'Not you again.’
Frank Carson
(1926 – 2012) Irish comedian & actor
Communication
Nuisance callers
Telephone
The road to hell is paved with adverbs.
Communication
Reading/Writing
Adverbs
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