Subject: Communication (Page 28)

Never get into an argument with a schizophrenic person and say, "Who do you think you are?"

(1956 – 1996) American comedian, actor & television host
Communication Speech

It's a damn good story; if you have any comments, write them on the back of a check.

(1889 – 1970) American lawyer & author
Communication Money

I, of course, don’t have an accent; this is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication Language

If at first you don’t succeed, read the manual.

Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Bad spellers of the world, untie!

Communication Language

The big advantage of a book is it's very easy to rewind; close it and you're right back at the beginning.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Appearance Body Language

People say I’m a plagiarist… their word, not mine.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it.

Appearance Body Wordplay

I was in a bookstore the other day and asked the woman behind the counter where the self-help section was; she said, “If I told you, that would defeat the whole purpose.”

comedian
Books Communication

Nothing conduces to brevity like a caving in of the knees.

(1809 – 1894) physician, professor, lecturer & author
Communication Reading/Writing

First triple I ever had.

(1908 – 1989) American baseball player
Baseball Communication Language Sports

I didn’t really say everything I said.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Communication Speech Yogi-isms

Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Characteristics Communication Speech

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

(1948 – ) American cartoonist (Doonesbury)
Communication School Speech

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

Characteristics Communication Lies

Racehorse: A barn athlete.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

He has left off reading altogether, to the great improvement of his originality.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing

She's just trying to make sure Anthony gets a good meal… Antonio.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Communication

I’ve never read an article of clothing.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing Reading/Writing

Do they give pilots crash courses in flight school?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Occupations Wordplay Work