Subject: Communication (Page 28)

A speaker who does not strike oil in ten minutes should stop boring.

(1902 – 1994) British-born American trial lawyer & author

Blessed is he who talks in circles, for he shall become a big wheel.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor

A lot of people think kids say the darnedest things, but so would you if you had no education.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker

The book or periodical most vital to the completion of your term paper will be missing from the library.

Corollary: If it is available, the most important page will be torn out.

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

To avoid misunderstanding, I’ll stop speaking formal English and just use the binocular.

Diplomacy: To do and say the nastiest thing in the nicest way. 

(1887 – 1938) American journalist, author, editor & lecturer

If there are any of you at the back who do not hear me, please don't raise your hands because I am also nearsighted.


(1907 – 1973) poet & critic

If something is 1.0, you don't need to say, 'point oh.'

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

Most rock journalism is people who can’t write interviewing people who can’t talk for people who can’t read.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director

Three may keep a secret… if two of them are dead.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

Never read any book in which the author’s name appears in gold or silver on the cover.

The only time I talk on the golf course is to my caddie. And then only to complain when he gives me the wrong club.

Spanish professional golfer

The purpose of the communication is to advance the communicator.

Three hours a day will produce as much as a man ought to write.

What's that up the road? … a head?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

I once knew a woman who offered her honor, so I honored her offer, and all night long I was on her and off her.

There is no thief like a bad book.