Subject: Communication (Page 51)

Alarm Clock: That which scares the daylight out of you.

Definitions Wordplay

I must tell you that the supply of words on the world market is plentiful, but the demand is falling.

(1943 – ) Polish trade-union organizer, human-rights activist & president
Communication

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.

(1919 – 2011) American news commentator & writer
Animals Communication Dogs Speech

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Beliefs Communication

Novel: A short story padded.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Books Communication

Be careful about reading health books for you may die of a misprint.

(1747 – 1803) German Jewish physician & lecturer on philosophy
Books Communication Death Health Reading/Writing

Umpire: The original strike arbitrator.

Definitions Wordplay

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Animals Language

I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

I don’t own a cell phone or a pager; I just hang around everyone I know, all the time.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication

The thing about getting old is the number of things you think that you can’t say aloud because it would be too shocking.

(1919 – 2013) British writer, poet & playwright
Age Old Speech

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Language

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Communication Self Speech

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Animals Communication Language

When a person says that, in the interest of saving time, he will summarize his prepared statement, he will talk only three times as long as if he had read the statement in the first place.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech Time

Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken.


Communication Speech

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics Communication

Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

(1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer
Communication Speech Time

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Beliefs Characteristics Communication Lies Truth

If I had my life to live over, I’d live it over a deli.

(1926 – 2009) comedian, actor, radio – TV personality & host
Life Wordplay