Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Communication
(Page 6)
Loquacity: A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Conversation
Definitions
Language
Speech
Loquacity
Like I always say, there's no 'I' in "team;" there is a 'me', though, if you jumble it up."
David Shore
(1959 – ) Canadian-born writer & television producer
Communication
Language
She's just trying to make sure Anthony gets a good meal… Antonio.
George W. Bush
(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Communication
On Laura Bush inviting Justice Antonin Scalia to dinner
Satire is focused bitterness.
Leo Rosten
(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Communication
Language
Satire
I used to be in a band called ‘Missing Cat’… you probably saw our posters.
Stewart Francis
Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication
Language
Situations
I am reading Henry James… and feel myself as one entombed in a block of smooth amber.
Virginia Woolf
(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Books
Insults
My wife and I had words, but I never got to use mine.
‘Fibber’ McGee
Jim Jordan (1896 – 1988) American radio comedian (of Fibber McGee & Molly)
Communication
Marriage
Speech
The only time I talk on the golf course is to my caddie. And then only to complain when he gives me the wrong club.
Seve Ballesteros
Spanish professional golfer
Communication
Speech
Sports
Caddies
Talking
Familiarity breeds attempt.
Jane Sherwood Ace
(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Relationships
Sex
Wordplay
Familiarity
Gossip: Anything that goes in one ear and over the back fence.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Speech
Gossip
When we got into office, the thing that surprised me most was to find that things were just as bad as we'd been saying they were.
John F Kennedy
(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Characteristics
Communication
Problems
Bad
Presidency
Contempt: The feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Language
Contempt
Enemies
This book fills a much-needed gap.
Moses Hadas
(1900 – 1986) American teacher & translator
Books
Reviews/Criticism
Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
P.J. O'Rourke
(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Books
Communication
Death
Reading/Writing
He would come in and say he changed his mind… which was a gilded figure of speech, because he didn't have any.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication
Intelligence
Language
Mind
Gilded figure of speech
Gossip is nature’s telephone.
Sholom Aleichem
(Sholem Naumovich Rabinovich) (1859 – 1916) Jewish author & humorist
Communication
Gossip
Telephone
My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice; for ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.
Wendy Liebman
(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Communication
Family
Fathers
Killing
Mothers
Speech
Ventriloquism
Omen: A sign that something will happen if nothing happens.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Language
Omen
Men and women belong to different species, and communication between them is a science still in its infancy.
Bill Cosby
(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication
Men
People
Science/Weather
Women
Species
It‘s my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.
Lily Tomlin
(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Communication
Language
Complaining
If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
George Carlin
(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication
Language
Page 6 of 86
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