Subject: Communication (Page 79)

Dave drowned; so at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt; well, it’s what he would have wanted.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

As soon as you mention something, if it's good, it goes away; if it's bad, it happens.

Characteristics Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

Quote me as saying I was misquoted.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Language

Her tongue is so long she could lick a skillet from the front porch.

Communication Speech

Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Books Communication Reading/Writing

I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Occupations Work

The Norwegian language has been described as German spoken underwater.

Communication Language Places

She needs open-heart surgery, and they should go in through her feet.

(1935 – ) British actress, singer & author
Communication

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Communication Emotions Situations

I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they’re going to be talking.

Communication People Speech

Outdo: To make an enemy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Government Language Politicians

The Sun has the class of a polyester shirt and the soul of a Colombian hit-man.

Communication Insults

If you think communication is all talking, you haven't been listening.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Communication Conversation Speech

About the only thing you can say for his constipation of ideas is his diarrhea of words.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Communication Ideas Insults Intelligence Speech

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Insults Intelligence Sex

I have an idea that the phrase ‘weaker sex’ was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Language Men People Women

A writer mustn’t shift your point of view.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

What’s another word for Thesaurus?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Characteristics Communication Money