Subject: Communication (Page 79)

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Health Misspokements Speech

Anatomy: The belly of a very small insect.

Definitions Wordplay

A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the other one.


Communication Language

Abbreviation: An inordinately long word in light of its meaning.

Communication Definitions Language

When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Characteristics Communication Speech

I don’t mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don’t understand.

(1892 – 1965) English physicist
Communication Entertainment Language Music Understanding

They should call fishing what it really is… tricking and killing!

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Animals Language Sports

Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication Speech

I married way too young… she was Chinese.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

My piñata costume was a hit with the crowd

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Defame: To lie about another. To tell the truth about another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Lies Truth

Television has raised writing to a new low.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Communication Entertainment Misspokements Reading/Writing Television

Some people have a way with words, and other people… oh, uh, not have way.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Wordplay

Connoisseur: A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Intelligence Language

I haven't spoken to my wife in years; I didn't want to interrupt her.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

Americans don't really understand what's going on in Bosnia; to them it's the unspellables killing the unpronouncables.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Communication Language Places

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Communication Wordplay

Definition: A statement intended to put a word in its place.

Communication Definitions Language

Words must be weighed, not counted.

Communication

Loquacity: A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Conversation Definitions Language Speech