Subject: Death (Page 4)

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.

(1920 – 2000) American actor

Tenant Failed To Give Notice Before Dying

I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring.

(1918 – 1988) American physicist

God will forgive me. It is his profession.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet

Perhaps men should think twice before making widowhood our only path to power.

(1934 – ) American feminist, journalist, & social & political activist

It sounds like attention-seeking behavior to me.

(1958 – ) Welsh actor, writer & comedian

Fertile Woman Dies in Climax

He died of cirrhosis of the liver… it costs money to die of cirrhosis of the liver.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist

This is the first time authorities helped me escape prison.

(c.1914 – 1947) American convicted murderer

Italian women never die – they just shrink out of existence.

(1958 – ) American comedian, actress & jazz musician

There comes a time in every man’s life… and I’ve had many of them.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager

Death – to blink for an exceptionally long period of time.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor

I did not know that we had ever quarreled.

(1817 – 1862) American author, poet, philosopher,, naturalist & historian

Suicide is cheating the doctor out of a job.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

I just wish I had time for one more bowl of chili.

(1809 – 1868) American frontiersman & scout

Why should I talk to you? I've just been talking with your boss.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter

Death is not the end; there remains the litigation over the estate.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

It's stopped.

(1791 – 1863) English surgeon & literary executor of Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Only from the cold, my friend.

(1736 – 1793) French astronomer, orator & leader of the French Revolution

I'm glad he died before me, because I didn't want him to sing at my funeral.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright

In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor