Subject: Death (Page 6)

This isn't Hamlet, you know. It's not meant to go into the bloody ear.

(1907 – 1989) English actor, director & producer
Last words

If your time ain't come, not even a doctor can kill you.

Death Doctors Health Life Situations

One dies only once, and it’s for such a long time!

(1622 – 1673) French playwright & actor
Death

This is funny.

(1851 – 1887) American gambler, gunfighter & dentist of the American old west
Last words

I thought it was in terribly bad taste for him to die when he did.

(1942 – ) English comic, actor (Monty Python's Flying Circus)
Death

You know, I don't mind dying. The thing that pisses me off is that I won't get to be an old man. I was looking forward to that.

(1928 – 1994) American actor
Last words

If there is reincarnation, I’d like to come back as Warren Beatty’s fingertips.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death

No, but comfortable enough to die.

(1717 – 1780) Empress of Austria & Hungary
Last words

I did not know that we had ever quarreled.

(1817 – 1862) American author, poet, philosopher,, naturalist & historian
Last words

A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Communication Death Speech

In the city, a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Death Entertainment Places

The harsh truth is that the cause of death is birth.

(1937 – ) English painter, printmaker, stage designer & photographer
Death Life

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Death

I forgot something.

(1918 – 1967) American founder of the American Nazi Party
Last words

If this is airing in the future and no one knows who Karl Rove is — he’s the reason you all live underground.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Death Future People Time

Aw, no one's gonna shoot at me.

(1939 – 1963) American assassinator of President John F. Kennedy
Last words

Don't make a mess of it – shoot straight, you bastards.

(1864 – 1902) Anglo-Australian drover, horseman, poet & soldier
Last words

I have had no real gratification or enjoyment of any sort more than my neighbor on the next block who is worth only half a million

(1821 – 1885) American businessman & millionaire
Last words

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Death Definitions

The way I see life, is like we’re all flying on the Hindenburg… why fight over the window seats?

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Death Life

A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers.

(1892 – 1964) singer, dancer, comedian, actor & songwriter
Death Marriage