Subject: Definitions (Page 72)

View All Definitions

Farm: What a city man dreams of at 5 p.m…. never at 5 a.m.

Definitions

Cleavage: Something which excites disapproval in everyone but the audience.

Body Definitions

Chiropractor: A doctor who works his fingers to the bone… yours.

Definitions Doctors

Strapless Gown: A compromise between the law of decency and the law of gravity.

Clothing Definitions

Ice Fishing: Winter fishing method in which anglers use a variety of specialized equipment to catch colds.

Definitions

Hot Pants: Breeches of promise.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Liberal: Someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Definitions Politicians

Younger Generation: A group that is alike in many disrespects.

Age Definitions People Young

Apartment: A place where the landlord and the tenant are both trying to raise the rent.

Definitions

Domestic Harmony: Music produced only if the husband plays second fiddle.

Definitions Marriage

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Marriage ceremony: An incredible metaphysical sham of watching God and the law being dragged into the affairs of your family.

Definitions Marriage

Tears: A good-bye product.

Definitions

Antique: An item your grandparents bought, your parents got rid of,  and you're buying again.

Definitions Things

Statistician: A person who believes that if you put your head in a furnace and your feet in a bucket of iced water, on the average you should feel reasonably comfortable.

Definitions Occupations

Statistician: Someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Definitions Occupations Work

Rugby: A game played by gentlemen with odd-shaped balls.

Definitions Sports

Budget: A schedule for going into debt systematically.

Definitions

Delaware: A state that has three counties when the tide is out, and two when it is in.

(1833 – 1900) American politician
Definitions

Puritan: A person who pours righteous indignation into the wrong things.

Definitions