Subject: Definitions (Page 72)

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Fiddlesticks: Violin bows.

Definitions

Penicillin: What to give a man who has everything.

Definitions Health Wordplay

Bull Market: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Definitions

Jeans: Lower half of the international uniform of youth.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Diploma: A job-hunting license.

Definitions

Alimony: The high cost of leaving.

Definitions Marriage

Specialist: A doctor whose patients are expected to confine their ailments to office hours.

Definitions Doctors Health

Temptation: Something which, when resisted, gives happiness and which, when yielded to, gives even greater happiness.

Definitions

Users: Computer users are divided into three types: Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer. Intermediate users: people who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it. Expert users: people who break other people's computers.

Computers Definitions People Things

Zircon: A diamond falsie.

Definitions

Heredity: The thing a child gets from the other side of the family.

writer
Definitions Family

Spinster: A lady in waiting.

Definitions People Women

Yankee: The same as a quickie, but you can do it by yourself.

Definitions

News: The same thing happening today that happened yesterday, but to different people.

Definitions

Bureaucracy: The art of making the possible seem impossible.

Definitions

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine.

Beer Definitions Food/Drink

Electrocution: Burning at the stake with all modern improvements.

Death Definitions

University: A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand.

Definitions Education School

Candidate: A person who asks for money from the wealthy and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Christmas: A warm, cheery two-month festival that celebrates the joy of retail merchandise.

Definitions

Artichoke: The only vegetable you have more of when you finish eating it, than you had when you started.

Definitions