Subject: Emotions (Page 8)

To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector; and just as I suspected, my machine was broken.

(1982 – ) American author
Emotions Love Situations

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and by then it was too late.

typographer
Emotions Happiness Marriage

The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.

(1962 – ) writer & journalist
Emotions Individuals Love People

A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions People

As long as I have you there is just one other thing I'll always need — tremendous self control.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Emotions Situations

Don't get historical!

Emotions

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Emotions Love People

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Emotions Husbands Love Marriage

Emotion is highly overrated in football. My wife Corky is emotional as hell but can't play football worth a damn.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Emotions Football Sports

A married friend of mine does that thing where he never goes to bed angry… because every time he and his wife fight, she makes him sleep on the couch.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Anger Emotions Marriage Situations Sleep

He laughs best who laughs last.

(1664 – 1726) English architect & dramatist
Emotions Laughter

Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.

(1860 – 1917) Scottish politician & judge
Emotions Love Money

Love: Woman’s eternal spring and man’s eternal fall.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Emotions Love Wordplay

What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Beer Emotions Situations

My uncle Sammy was an angry man… he had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Anger Emotions

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Books Communication Emotions Love Marriage Reading/Writing

If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Death Happiness Misspokements Speech

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.

Emotions Intelligence Laughter

Every animal is sad after (sex) except the human female and the rooster.

(AD 129 – 199) Roman physician & philosopher
Emotions Sex

I’ve lost my will to suffer.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Emotions

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Emotions Laughter