Subject: Family » Children (Page 3)

I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.

(1904 – 1973) English novelist & biographer
Children Family

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Characteristics Children People Things

Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.

(1943 – ) English comedian
Children Family Money Wealth

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Appearance Characteristics Children Intelligence Religion Wives

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

(1936 – ) television talk show host
Children Family Parents

We have a beautiful little girl who we named after my mom; in fact Passive Aggressive Psycho turns five tomorrow.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Children Family Mothers Old

Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Children Education Learning School

It's better to go when you have to go – than to go and find you've already gone.

Children Murphy’s Laws Travel

They were the type of children who would kill both parents and make you feel sorry for them because they were orphans.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Children Family

When you’re a fat kid, you only get to be two things… funny and goalie.

(1980 – ) Canadian writer, comedian & political activist
Appearance Body Children Fat

Trying to get a little kid dressed is like gift-wrapping an octopus.

American writer
Appearance Children Clothing Family

I love all my children… I’m delighted to see them come and delighted to see them go.

(1912 – 2002) English novelist
Children Family

One of life’s greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn’t good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.

Children Family Marriage Proverbs

Children are a great comfort in your old age… and they help you reach it faster too.

Age Children Family Old

I like going to the park and watching the children run and jump around, because you see, they don't know I'm using blanks.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Arms Children People Things

Bud, don't be jealous, you're both of our children. It's just that Kelly's our favorite now.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter
Children TV/Movie Quotes

A woman never wakes up her second baby just to see it smile.

Children Family

Whatever is on the floor will wind up in your baby’s mouth; whatever is in your baby’s mouth will wind up on the floor.

(1941 – ) poet, author, editor & anthologist
Children Family

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Communication Language

Never underestimate a child’s ability to get into more trouble.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Children Family

I’m a sensitive guy; I held a baby the other day and it was the first time either of us cried.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Children Emotions