Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 4)

A tavern is a place where madness is sold by the bottle.  

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Alcohol Food/Drink

Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Things

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Taxes

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

(1899 – 1961) author & journalist
Alcohol Food/Drink

I had the right to remain silent, but I had lost the ability to.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Speech

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol

Never program and drink beer at the same time.

Alcohol Beer Computers Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Things

One more drink and I'd be under the host.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink

They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Alcohol Baseball Food/Drink Sports

You can never be sure how many beers you had last night.

Alcohol Beer Murphy’s Laws

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge; others just gargle.

Alcohol Intelligence People

My mom’s Jewish and my dad’s Irish Catholic alcoholic, so I whine on the inside.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Alcohol Beliefs

I can’t die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.

(1904 – 1995) American comedian, jazz musician & singer
Alcohol Food/Drink Self

The French drink to get loosened up for an event, to celebrate and event, and even to recover from an event.

French commission of alcoholism
Alcohol Food/Drink People Places

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won’t cure a cold.

(1932 – 2014) American singer
Alcohol Food/Drink Health

You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Places

Life is too short to drink cheap beer.

Alcohol Food/Drink Life

Drink ‘til she’s cute, but stop before the wedding.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Alcohol Dating Relationships

Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Government

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling… the rest I spend foolishly.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Alcohol Money Women