Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 5)

Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie;’ he said ‘God beat me to it.’

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the D.T.'s begin.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor

I never drink water… fish f**k in it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hijack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

There definitely needs to be water on the sidelines for these players, but I also had some Gatorade just in case they were allergic to the water or vice versa.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer

He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet

More people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Life is too short to drink cheap beer.

An Irishman is not drunk as long as he still has a blade of grass to hang onto.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case; coincidence?

One more drink and I'd be under the host.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much… then again, don’t drink too little.

I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

I’m going to take the high road, and just because I’m high.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer

I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer