Subject: Food/Drink (Page 18)

Woody: What’s up?

Norm: The warranty on my liver.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

The French, they say, live to eat; the English, on the other hand, eat to die.

(1949 – ) English novelist
Eating England People Places

What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Beer Emotions Situations

I told my doctor, “I’ve swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills” and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Doctors Health

The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Alcohol Baseball Food/Drink Sports

The soup is never hot enough if the waiter can keep his thumb in it.

(1902 – 1987) American actor
Food/Drink

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with it's just compounding the felony.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Fools Intelligence

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Food/Drink Health Life

Everything tastes more or less like chicken.

Animals Eating Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Life Problems

Your favorite kind of cake can’t be birthday cake, that’s like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.

(1983 – ) American comedian & actor
Food/Drink

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake; I feel better already!

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Food/Drink Self

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.

(1894 – 1974) comedian, radio & television host
Eating Food/Drink

Coach: What will it be, Normie?

Norm: A transfusion with a head on it.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer TV/Movie Quotes

Because you are feeding both the child and the floor, raising this child will be expensive.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family Food/Drink Money

Men are like chocolate bars: sweet, smooth, and heading straight for your hips.

Food/Drink Men People

I practice when I’m loaded.

(1925 – 1985) American jazz saxophonist
Alcohol Entertainment Music

I never drink coffee at lunch, I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Food/Drink Situations Sleep

I got food poisoning today… I don’t know when I’ll use it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Health

[Tequila] is not even a drink; it’s a way for having the cops around without using a phone.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

When someone you greatly admire and respect appears to be thinking deep thoughts, they are probably thinking about lunch.

Food/Drink Intelligence People Thinking