Subject: Health (Page 2)

There would never be any public agreement among doctors if they did not agree to agree on the main point of the doctor being always on the right.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Doctors Health Occupations Work

The only sport where you can spend an arm and a leg to break an arm and a leg. 

(1945 – ) American humorist (co-founder of National Lampoon)
Activities Health Sports

She had a seashore disorder.

Health Malaprops

I’m not feeling very well – I need a doctor immediately; ring the nearest golf course.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Doctors Golf Health Sports

Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Age Health Old Young

One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident… herpes.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Health Sports

That guy ain’t been the same since he had that vasexomy.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Health Malaprops

The illness you come down with is the one ailment your company-covered insurance does not cover.

Health Murphy’s Laws

Physician: One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems… like your groinocology.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Doctors Health Malaprops

I'm taking Lamaze classes; I'm not having a baby, I'm just having trouble breathing.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Health

I told my doctor, “I’ve swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills” and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Doctors Health

Toothaches tend to start on Saturday night.

Health Murphy’s Laws

I told my dentist I want a tooth to match the others; he gave me one with four cavities.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Health

I used to work at a health food store; I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Health

Hypochondria is the only disease I haven’t got.

Health

You know you have it when you can’t think of anything that’s your own fault.

Health Murphy’s Laws

I don't need you to remind me of my age; I have a bladder to do that for me.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Age Health Old

Toothache: The pain that drives you to extraction.

Definitions Health

What’s Up Down There?: Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend

Book Titles Health

As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Age Health Young