Subject: Life (Page 4)

Last night, I blew $5,000 on a reincarnation seminar… I figured, ‘What the hell; you only live once.’

comedian
Death Life

Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell; the other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth, and you should save it for someone you love.

(1945 – ) American country/folk musician & song writer
Beliefs Life Places Religion Sex

I wanna live ’til I die, no more, no less.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Life

Reality continues to ruin my life.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Life

If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Intelligence Life Science/Weather

You haven’t lived until you’ve died in California.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Life Places

Let’s face facts, shall we?… There is a very real possibility that this could also be the last day of the rest of your life.

(1939 – ) television newscaster
Death Life Situations

I think the one lesson I have learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention.

(1945 – ) American television journalist
Life Success

All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

(1880 – 1964) Irish dramatist
Entertainment Life World

It’s hard to be famous and alive.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Death Life

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Conflict Eating Fights Food/Drink Life Success

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist Cathy
Life

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can’t suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Age Life Old

As life’s pleasures go, food is second only to sex… except for salami and eggs; now that’s better than sex, but only if the salami is thickly sliced.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Eating Food/Drink Life Sex

Probably the toughest time in anyone’s life is when you have to murder a loved one because they’re the devil.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Conflict Killing Life People Time

The harsh truth is that the cause of death is birth.

(1937 – ) English painter, printmaker, stage designer & photographer
Death Life

Life is a zoo in a jungle.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Life

Anybody who tells you that life is brief hasn’t been to motor vehicles recently.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Life Time

Not only is life a bitch, it has puppies.

writer, humorist, columnist & speaker
Animals Dogs Life Situations

Is it a progress if a cannibal is using a knife and fork?

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Life

When someone follows you all the way to the shop and watches you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.

(1969 – ) American actress, film director & producer
Life Success