Subject: Marriage (Page 12)

Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Marriage

Marriage: The mourning after the knot before.

Definitions Marriage

At the end of the Peterson trial, my daughter turns to me and she goes, 'Daddy, are you going to kill Mommy?'… 'Oh, honey – that's up to Mommy, isn't it?'

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Conflict Killing Marriage Wives

Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender.

Husbands Marriage

Most wives are like ventriloquists: they stand there nodding while the dummy does all the talking.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

Marriage is bliss… Ignorance is bliss… Ergo…

Emotions Happiness Marriage

No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Marriage Wives

If it weren’t for marriage, husband and wives would have to fight with strangers.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Conflict Fights Marriage

I don’t worry about terrorism… I was married for two years.

(1953 – 1992) American comedian
Conflict Marriage

If you haven’t seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven’t seen her smile her prettiest.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Government Law Marriage Wives

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they' ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Marriage Men

My parents got divorced after 40 years… that's the longest game of chicken ever.

American comedian
Divorce Marriage

Optimist: The sort of man who marries his sister’s best friend.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Friends Marriage Men

‘I am’ is the shortest sentence in the English Language; ‘I do’ is the longest.

Marriage

Politicians are wedded to the truth, but like many other married couples they sometimes live apart.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Characteristics Government Honesty Marriage Politicians Truth

I could be such a wonderful wife to another wife's husband.

(1931 – ) American author & newspaper journalist
Husbands Marriage Wives

Hovering between wife and death.

(1771 – 1854) Scottish writer
Marriage Wives

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Divorce Emotions Love Marriage

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Marriage

Half of all marriage end in divorce – and then there are the unhappy ones.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Divorce Marriage