Subject: Marriage (Page 10)

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Animals Cats Classifieds Husbands Marriage

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages, but love accounts for the other third.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions Love Marriage

If we men married the women we deserved, we should have a very bad time of it.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Marriage Men People Women

I believe in the institution of marriage and I intend to keep trying until I get it right.

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
Marriage

If a tree falls in the forest and hits my wife, but nobody else is around, does a chainsaw still make a noise?

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Marriage Wives

Spouse: Someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

Definitions Marriage

A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.

(1948 – 1990) comedian
Divorce Marriage Time Wives

Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Marriage

The first part of our marriage was very happy… but then, on the way back from the ceremony…

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Marriage

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

(1613 – 1680) French writer
Marriage

Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Husbands Marriage Sex

It is a truth universally acknowledge, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

(1775 – 1817) English novelist
Money Wives

A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Husbands Marriage

A bachelor is a man who comes to work each morning from a different direction.

(Sholem Naumovich Rabinovich) (1859 – 1916) Jewish author & humorist
Marriage

There's nothing like a good dose of another woman to make a man appreciate his wife.

(1903 – 1987 diplomat, playwright, journalist & politician
Husbands Marriage People Wives

As soon as they get married, they all get these big old guts on them; that's not from drinking beer – that's from swallowing pride.

stand-up comedian
Alcohol Body Fat Husbands Marriage Men People

If it weren’t for marriage, husband and wives would have to fight with strangers.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Conflict Fights Marriage

I was the best man at the wedding; if I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Marriage

Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Marriage

I walked in on my wife and the milkman, the first thing she says is "don't tell the butcher!"

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage Sex Situations Wives

Marriage: The difference between painting the town and painting the back porch.

Definitions Marriage