Subject: Marriage (Page 34)

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Marriage Men Women

Wayne Carter: Aren’t you forgetting that you’re married?

Flower Belle: I’m doin’ my best.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

A fate worse than marriage; a sort of eternal engagement.

(1939 – ) English playwright
Marriage

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Fools Marriage Men

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and by then it was too late.

typographer
Emotions Happiness Marriage

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Marriage

My boyfriend and I broke up; he wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Marriage Relationships

Catherine: Your wife is really lucky.

Frasier: Well, I’m sure she’d say the same thing, especially now that our marriage is over.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Marriage TV/Movie Quotes

I first met the wife in a tunnel of love… she was digging it.

(1931 – 1993) English comedian
Marriage Wives

A woman’s mink coat represents the sacrifice of a lot of little animals, including her husband.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Marriage

A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Husbands Marriage

All weddings, except those with shotguns in evidence, are wonderful.

(1923 – ) American journalist & gossip columnist
Marriage

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Marriage

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Marriage

It destroys one’s nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Marriage

The marriage makes man and wife one flesh, it leaves ‘em still two fools.

(1670 – 1729) English playwright & poet
Marriage

My parents divorced when I was one year old so I don't really remember any of the details, but luckily my mom does so she's been really helpful.

(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian, actress & writer
Divorce Family Marriage Parents

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Activities Husbands Marriage Relationships Sleep Things Wives

One of my favorite oxymorons is engagement party.

writer, website creator
Marriage Sex

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Marriage

I lost 28 pounds in my divorce… because that’s what a soul weighs.

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Divorce Marriage