Subject: Marriage (Page 8)

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Marriage Men Women

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Autos Husbands Marriage Wives

Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.

Marriage Proverbs War

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Books Communication Emotions Love Marriage Reading/Writing

Alimony: The screwing you get for the screwing you got.

Divorce Marriage

There's a new Playboy for married men – and it has the same centerfold every month.

(1959 – ) American comedian, actress & singer
Husbands Marriage

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house; I never slept alone until after I was married.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Marriage Situations Sleep

My wife gets so jealous; she came home from work and was mad at me because there was a pretty girl on the bus she thought I would have liked.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Characteristics Marriage Wives

Half a psychiatrist's patients see him because they are married – the other half because they're not.

(1905 –1998) American author
Doctors Health Marriage

I think we explored the further reaches of “for better or for worse.”

(1944 – ) British scientist
Marriage

A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Husbands Marriage Wives

How it Works: The Wife

Book Titles Marriage Wives

A married friend of mine does that thing where he never goes to bed angry… because every time he and his wife fight, she makes him sleep on the couch.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Anger Emotions Marriage Situations Sleep

Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Emotions Happiness Love Marriage Money Wealth

It is a truth universally acknowledge, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

(1775 – 1817) English novelist
Money Wives

Marriage: The mourning after the knot before.

Definitions Marriage

Marriage is the price men pay for sex, sex is the price women pay for marriage.

Marriage Men People Sex Women

The girl who marries for money may find herself in debt for life.

writer
Marriage Money

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Marriage Problems Shopping Wives

A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Marriage Men People Women

To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.

(1788 – 1860) German philosopher
Marriage