Subject: People (Page 11)

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net.

American playwright, television writer & author

You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs, but by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men.

(1872 – 1956) English essayist, parodist & caricaturist

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good book… or a friend who’s read one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

The funniest thing about some people is that they have no sense of humor.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist

A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist

I like men… as a concept.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian

Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor

Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age.

(1908 – 1976) publisher & author

Only adults have difficulty with child-proof bottles.

A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.

(1911 – 1989) television actress

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders… I hate necks.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician

Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book.

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

I don't have any tattoos or piercings yet, but I do have a cold sore I've been ignoring.

(1959 – ) American comedian, actress & singer

… it was a Jewish porno film… one minute of sex and nine minutes of guilt.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Hell is other people.

(1905 – 1980) French existentialist philosopher, playwright & novelist,

A pessimist is one who, when he has a choice of two evils, chooses both.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

I was the best I ever had.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

You might be a redneck if… your school fight song is Dueling Banjos.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

There were many reasons we broke up; there was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

American actor & comedian