Subject: People (Page 11)

If she gets a hot flash and walks into a cold room, she can make it rain.

American actor & comedian
Health People Women

Although humans tend to view sex as mainly a fun recreational activity sometimes resulting in death, in nature it is a far more serious matter.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
People Sex

When you're born, you have a finger up your nose, the other hand on your dick, and you get taller; and that is really it.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Life Men People

Optimist: The sort of man who marries his sister’s best friend.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Friends Marriage Men

I like my coffee like I like my women… in a plastic cup.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
People Women

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it’s too much trouble putting make-up on two faces.

Australian comedian & actress
Characteristics Government People Politicians Women

A man who catches a big fish doesn't go home through an alley.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Characteristics People

Men and nations will act rationally towards each other only after all other possibilities have been exhausted.

Characteristics Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People

Men don't get cellulite — God might just be a man.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Beliefs God Men

There are more fools in the world than there are people.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Fools Intelligence People

“Ocean’s Eleven” would never work with women because two would keep breaking off to talk shit about the other nine.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
People Women

All women marry beneath them.

Marriage Murphy’s Laws Women

It's far easier to forgive an enemy after you've got even with him.

(1918 - 2002) American author
Characteristics People

Men are easy to get but hard to keep.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men Relationships

There are three kinds of men: the ones who learn by reading; the few who learn by observation; the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Intelligence People

Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and started growing in the middle.

Age Appearance Body People

My husband could have had any women he pleased – he just couldn't please any!

Husbands Marriage Women

You might be a redneck if… your coffee table used to be a cable spool.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things

Accept who you are… unless you’re a serial killer.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
People Self

The price of purity is purists.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Characteristics People

Neighbors: The only people who listen to both sides of an argument.

Definitions People