Subject: People (Page 11)

Hell may have a worse climate but undoubtedly the company is spritelier.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist

Twelve years after high school and I’m still at the nerd table.

(1975 – ) American actor

Sometimes I'm so bored at a party, I'll slip myself a roofie.

comedian & author

They’re the only couples you’ll ever find poking around for ceramics and candle holders in the winery gift shop and both parties really want to be there.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor

When Sinclair (Lewis) is dead he's dead; when I die I'm immortal.

(1873 – 1945) journalist & author

I've been looking for a girl like you… not you… but a girl like you.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? … sex is what we want!

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer

Sewing Circle: A group of women who needle each other.

Perhaps men should think twice before making widowhood our only path to power.

(1934 – ) American feminist, journalist, & social & political activist

You might be a redneck if… your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

By the time my friend was eighteen she had sown enough wild oats to make a grain deal with Russia.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

I really wish ISIS would stop playing violent video games and listening to Marilyn Manson.

European comedian & actor

Adults are just obsolete children.

Theodor Seuss Geisel (1904 – 1991) author & illustrator

The only reason he had a child is so that he can meet babysitters.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

If you take a oriental and turn him around so he faces west, does he become disoriented?


Who’s Virginia?

(1890 – 1995) American philanthropist & wife of Joseph P. Kennedy, Sr.

You might be a redneck if… you think Taco Bell is the Mexican Phone Company.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

One of the indictments of civilizations is that happiness and intelligence are so rarely found in the same person.

(1908 – 1976) publisher & author

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

(1925 – 2005) television host

The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, ‘What does woman want?’

(1856 – 1939) Austrian neurologist, father of psychoanalysis