Subject: People (Page 126)

Irish people are Italians who can’t dress, Jamaicans who can’t dance.

(1960 – ) Irish singer-songwriter, musician, philanthropist & publicity seeker
People Places

There's nothing like a good dose of another woman to make a man appreciate his wife.

(1903 – 1987 diplomat, playwright, journalist & politician
Husbands Marriage People Wives

I just don't want to die the same day Castro dies.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Death Self

If men could get pregnant,abortion would be a sacrament.

(1916 – 2000) American lawyer & activist
Health Men People

How many advantages can one person have?… I'm a white man!

Louis Szekely (1967 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & director
People Self

Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public; they can learn in private; in public they have to know.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Learning Men People

Hedda Hopper: How do you know so much about men?

West: Baby, I went to night school.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Education Men People School

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do – well, that's Memoirs.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Characteristics Past Reading/Writing Self

If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, “Dude, thanks for the hammock.”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
People Things

Some women pick men to marry; and others pick them to pieces.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage Men People Women

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men Sex

Some people are widely read – I'm thinly read.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Intelligence People Reading/Writing Self

You know your girlfriend is too young when she’ll do everything in bed but go upside down because it’s too scary.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Age Girlfriends Sex Young

Women reach their sexual peak after 35 years; men reach theirs after about four minutes.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Men People Sex Time Women

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves into a position of power should on no account be allowed to do the job.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Characteristics Government People Work

In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the next meal would come from.

(1909 – 2005) management writer
Characteristics Food/Drink People

Reporter: What do you think of Western Civilization?

Gandhi: I think it would be a good idea.

(1869 – 1948) Indian leader of independence movement
People

Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Characteristics Men People Women

You might be a redneck if… you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said "concentrate."

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Intelligence People Rednecks

Economist: A man who knows more about money than the people who have it.

Definitions Occupations People

Sometime they'll give a war and nobody will come.

Carl Sandburg (1878 – 1967) biographer & poet
Conflict People War