Subject: People (Page 3)

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Fools Intelligence People

Gold Digger: A woman after all.

Definitions People Women Wordplay

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Age Government People

1. Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
2. Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
3. If at first you don't succeed, try something else.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

A missionary is a person who teaches cannibals to say grace before they him.

People

The best number for a dinner party is two – myself and a damn good head waiter.

(1896 – 1972) Turkish-born Armenian business magnate
Eating Food/Drink People

It’s not the people who vote that count, it’s the people who count the votes.

(1878 – 1953) Soviet politician, leader of the Soviet Union
Elections/Voting Government People

Adolescents: People who never seem to realize that one day they will be as dumb as their parents.

Age People Young

A sports expert is the guy who writes the best alibis for being wrong.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
People Sports

The typical West of Ireland family consists of father, mother, twelve children and resident Dutch anthropologist.

(1911 – 1966) Irish novelist, dramatist & columnist
People Places

You might be a redneck if… you’ve ever had to scratch your sister's name out of a message that begins, "For a good time time call…"

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Relationships

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

People

Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Intelligence People Reading/Writing Stupidity

You could move.

(1918 – ) American advice columnist
People

You might be a redneck if… you've ever cut your grass and found a car.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities Autos People Rednecks

When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People Self

It [feminism] is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.

(1930 – ) American Southern Baptist minister, executive & media mogul
Beliefs Stupidity Women

One night I was playing poker with tarot cards; I got a full house and four people died.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Activities Games People

The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Money People

Manager: Someone who doesn’t know how to do your job, who tells you how to do your job.

Definitions People Work

These days, the problem with many neighborhoods is that there're more hoods than neighbors!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime People