Subject: People (Page 3)

I’m not a fighter, I’m a bleeder.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Fights Self

I saw what’s going on under my chin; I don’t want to be the one the president has to pardon on Thanksgiving.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance People Self

If you hate gay marriage, then don't marry a gay person.

(1977 – ) Australian comedian
Marriage People

To please a woman in bed, all a man has to do is a poetry course; they also have to learn that the Kama Sutra is not an Indian takeaway and that the mutual orgasm is not an insurance company.

(1958 – ) Australian author
People Sex Women

Love is what happens to a man and woman who don't know each other.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Emotions Love Men People Women

Men like phones with lots of buttons; it makes them feel important.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Communication Men People Things

I believe in loyalty… when a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.

(1919 – 1995) Hungarian-born American socialite & actress
Age Old People Women

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
People Sex

Any man who hates dogs and babies can’t be all bad.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Animals Dogs Emotions People

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol… it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.

(1946 – 2005) Irish professional football player
Alcohol People Women

The German mind has a talent for making no mistakes but the very greatest.

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host
Intelligence Mind Mistakes People Problems

Ridiculous stereotypes often make people very ignorant towards other nationalities. For example, I’m in good shape, intelligent, and I don’t have sex with my cousins, and yet still people assume I’m American.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs People Religion

There is no such thing as an unattached woman.

Murphy’s Laws People Relationships Women

Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Men People Women

Men, I feel, are like wine – before buying, a real connoisseur takes a small sip, and spits them out.

(1936 – 1993) British writer
Men People Relationships

I finally know what distinguishes man from the other beasts: financial worries.

(1864 – 1910) French author
Animals Money People

Gentleman: A man who remembers a woman’s birthday but forgets her age.

Definitions Men People

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.

(1937 – 2005) journalist & author
Alcohol Drugs Life Self

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Men Mothers People

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill: Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend – if you have one.

Churchill’s reply: Impossible to be present for the first performance; will attend second – if there is one.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Entertainment Insults People

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Government People