Subject: People (Page 47)

I don't have any tattoos or piercings yet, but I do have a cold sore I've been ignoring.

(1959 – ) American comedian, actress & singer
Characteristics People Self

Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Age Children People

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Age Men Old People Young

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Animals Cats Characteristics People

The natural man has only two primal passions, to get and beget.

(1849 – 1919) Canadian physician
People

I’m so gay, I could put a lisp in the word ‘cracker.'

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
People Self

Any man who hates dogs and babies can’t be all bad.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Animals Dogs Emotions People

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.

(1913 – 1960) French-Algerian author, philosopher & journalist
People

The problem with the common person is that he is so unbearably common!

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
People

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Characteristics People Work

There were many reasons we broke up; there was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

American actor & comedian
Beliefs Girlfriends Relationships Religion

How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?


People

If the Bible has taught us anything – which it hasn't – it's that girls should stick to girl's sports like hot oil wrestling…

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Girls Sports TV/Movie Quotes

The hardest thing to stop is a temporary chairman.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
People Situations

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Fools Intelligence People

Men have two emotions: hungry and horny; if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Food/Drink Men People Sex

A homeless guy asked me for 2 pounds, so I gave him 1.67 because that’s what a woman would get paid for doing the same job.

British comedian
Men Money People Women Work

I’m like an iPhone, it’s going to be worse versions of this every year, plus I get super hot in the middle of the afternoon for no reason.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
People Self

You might be a redneck if… your down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Intelligence People Rednecks Television

There are more horses’ asses in this world than there are horses.

Animals Murphy’s Laws People

You might be a redneck if… you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Fathers People Rednecks