Subject: People (Page 64)

You might be a redneck if… you had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body People Self

I learned in business that you had to be very careful when you told somebody that’s working for you to do something, because the chances were very high he’d do it; in government, you don’t have to worry about that.

(1920 – ) U.S. Secretary of State economist, statesman & businessman
Characteristics Government Occupations People Work

Whatever creates the greatest inconvenience for the largest number must happen.

Murphy’s Laws People

If Lincoln freed the slaves and preserved the Union, how come 'Lincolnesque' just means tall?”

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
People

You might be a redneck if… you think "fast food" is hitting a possum at 65 miles an hour.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals People Rednecks

No matter what goes wrong, there’s always someone who will say he knew it would.

Murphy’s Laws People Problems

Accept who you are… unless you’re a serial killer.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
People Self

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot… unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Health People

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

(1913 – 1997) American comedian & radio & television host
Marriage Men Mistakes Problems

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Marriage Men People

You might be a redneck if… you have a rag for a gas cap.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Rednecks

Louis B. Mayer’s arm around your shoulder meant his hand was closer to your throat.

(1911 – 2008) American film director
Insults People

In the nineteenth century, life was hard for Europe’s pheasants.

Malaprops People Poverty

It’s not the men in your life that matters, it’s the life in your men.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men TV/Movie Quotes

No man is an island, but some of us are pretty long peninsulas.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
People Situations

Is a narcissist’s suicide a crime of passion?


People Self

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Emotions People

Dancing is a wonderful training for girls, it’s the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Activities Dance Education Girls Men People Women

My first job consisted of me answering a phone… but it wasn't for me.

British comedian
Occupations Self Work

The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of: 1. a date, 2.his wife, 3. a better looking and richer male friend.

Dating Men Murphy’s Laws Relationships Women