Subject: People (Page 73)

Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Marriage Men People

The same thing happened today that happened yesterday, only to different people.

(1897 – 1972) broadcast journalist & gossip columnist
People Time

High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Appearance Body Clothing Women

Every time I sew a button back onto a shirt, there are then two solid minutes where I sincerely believe I would've survived the Oregon Trail.

(1982 – ) American comedian & actress
People Self

In high school, I wanted to be a feminist, but my boyfriend wouldn't let me.

comedian
Beliefs People

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing themselves.


People Self

Only a man who has loved a woman of genius can appreciate what happiness there is in loving a fool.

(1754 – 1838) French prime minister & diplomat
Fools Intelligence Marriage Men Women

I had a girlfriend that was so fat she wore a "Cross Your Thighs" bra.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing Fat Girlfriends People

Always remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everyone else.

Murphy’s Laws People Self

I've been looking for a girl like you… not you… but a girl like you.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People Women

An expert really doesn't know anymore than you do. He is merely better organized and has slides.

Murphy’s Laws People

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.

(1955 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Dating People Relationships Self Sex

Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Appearance Clothing Men People Women

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Husbands Marriage People Women

I installed a skylight in my apartment…. the people who live above me are furious!

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
People Things

Any committee that is the slightest use is composed of people who are too busy to want to sit on it for a second longer than they have to.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
People Time

Confucius say… men are like bike helmets… they are handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.

Confucius say Men People

Men and women belong to different species, and communication between them is a science still in its infancy.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication Men People Science/Weather Women

They say men can never experience the pain of childbirth; but they can, if you hit them in the goolies with a cricket bat for 14 hours.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Men People Women

You know that look women get when they want sex… me, neither.

(1958 – ) standup comedian, actor, game show host & photographer
People Sex Women

Probably the toughest time in anyone’s life is when you have to murder a loved one because they’re the devil.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Conflict Killing Life People Time