Subject: Places (Page 39)

What Iran needs now is a more modern leader – a mullah lite.

(1973 – ) Iranian-born British comedian
Government Places Wordplay

… New Jersey?

(1973 – ) American actress
Intelligence Misspokements Places

The Irish… don’t care for clean government; they want Irish government.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist
Government People Places

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

America Murphy’s Laws People

I’ve been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks; the rest of them take after the other side of the family.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
America Characteristics Family Fathers People Places

In New England there are three times of year… either winter has just been, or winter is coming, or it’s winter.

American author
Places Science/Weather

Englishwomen's shoes look as if they had been made by someone who had often heard shoes described, but had never seen any.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
Appearance Clothing England Insults Places

You might be a redneck if… the biggest city you have ever been to is Wal-Mart.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Places Rednecks

The English approach to ideas is not to kill them, but to let them die of neglect.

(1950 – ) English broadcaster, journalist & author
England Ideas Intelligence Places

Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.

(1897 – 1972) broadcast journalist & gossip columnist
Hollywood Places

In California everyone goes to a therapist, is a therapist , or is a therapist going to a therapist.

(1924 – 1984) American author
Occupations People Places Work

If you surveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you'd find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from the 'Beverly Hillbillies.’

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Intelligence People Places

When they said Canada, I thought it was up in the mountains somewhere.

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol
Canada Misspokements Places

Tasmania is famous for its shape, which is the same shape as the pubic hair region on a woman's body, which I personally don't identify with; mine's more like a map of the former Soviet Union… not to scale.

(1978 – ) Australian comedian, writer & actress
Places

I like my buddies from west Texas; I liked them when I was young; I liked them then I was middle – age; I liked them before I was president; and I like them during president, and I like them after president.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Age Friends People Places President

Small Town: Where everybody is interested in what the Joneses will name the latest baby, while a big city is where they worry about what the zoo will call the new elephant.

Definitions Places

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Health Money Places

I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers… and he hates New York.


New York City Places Things

My parents were English; we were too poor to be British.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
England Places

The earth is bipolar.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Science/Weather

Unfortunately, the people of Louisiana are not racists.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Beliefs Misspokements People Places