Subject: Places » World

What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.

(1918 – 1990) American actress & singer

The world gets better every day – then worse again in the evening.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

The world is more complicated than most of our theories make it out to be.

If the people of New Zealand want to be a part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and push 'em closer.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

Columbus went around the world in 1492; that isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

(1942 – ) American professional golfer

The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

New Jersey is to America as America is to the world.

(1977 – ) American television producer, writer & comedian

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named ‘Bush,’ ‘Dick,’ and ‘Colon.’

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director

Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish… my dreams were broadcast all over the world.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

It is not a fragrant world.

(1888 – 1959) detective novelist & screenwriter

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.

(1942 – 2008) American author, producer, director & screenwriter

I would say the world's in terrible shape, but I'm afraid the world would say, 'Look who's talking!'

(1943 – 1974) American singer (Mamas & Papas)

The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.

All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

(1880 – 1964) Irish dramatist

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist