Subject: Problems » Accidents

A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

Accidents Children

New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Accidents New York City People Places Problems

Anything dropped in the bathroom falls in the toilet.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

If we see light at the end of the tunnel, it’s the light of the oncoming train.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

They're funny things, accidents; you never have them till you're having them.

fictional character from the book series by A. A. Milne
Accidents Problems

A dropped power tool will always land on the concrete instead of the soft ground (if outdoors) or the carpet (if indoors) – unless it is running, in which case it will fall on something it can damage (like your foot).

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Things

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Accidents Entertainment Problems

A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a diamond ring down the drain, for example) – or into the garbage disposal while it is running.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

If you fall and break your legs, don't come running to me.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Accidents Problems

If you break a cup or plate, it will not be the one that was already chipped or cracked.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Accidents Money Poverty

Man is the only kind of varmint who sets his own trap, baits it, then steps on it.

(1902 – 1968) novelist
Accidents Animals People Problems

The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.

Accidents Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Accidents Alcohol Emotions Laughter

Anything dropped in the bathroom will fall in the toilet.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Accidents Problems

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Accidents Characteristics Men People

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car; it wasn’t serious – nobody saw me.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Accidents Problems

A flying particle will seek the nearest eye.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

When the water reaches the upper deck, follow the rats.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

I spilled spot remover on my dog… he’s gone now.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Accidents Animals Dogs Problems

Stuff tends to break when it is loaned or borrowed.

Accidents Problems Things