Subject: Problems » Accidents

If Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune, and if anybody pulled him out, that, I suppose, would be a calamity.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Accidents Insults Problems

It's hard to describe what it's like to see a stock car flying through the air knowing it's going to land on top of you.

American auto racer
Accidents Auto racing Problems Sports

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Accidents Entertainment Problems

Accident: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.

Accidents Body Mind Problems

A valuable dropped item will always fall into an inaccessible place (a diamond ring down the drain, for example) – or into the garbage disposal while it is running.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Anything dropped in the bathroom falls in the toilet.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.

Accidents Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Accidents Alcohol Emotions Laughter

After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.

(1953 – ) comedian & actor
Accidents Autos History Time Truth

If you break a cup or plate, it will not be the one that was already chipped or cracked.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

If you fall and break your legs, don't come running to me.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Accidents Problems

If you drop something, it will never reach the ground.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

If we see light at the end of the tunnel, it’s the light of the oncoming train.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Accidents Characteristics Men People

If a dish is dropped while removing it from the cupboard, it will hit the sink, breaking the dish and chipping or denting the sink in the process.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

actor, writer & editor
Accidents Problems War

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Accidents Failure Situations

Gravity is a contributing factor in 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

A cigarette placed in an ashtray will go out if you stay in the room; if you leave the room, the cigarette will topple to the table, burn through, and drop to the floor, where it will smolder until it descends to ignite the drapes in the room below.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

Most accidents in well-designed systems involve two or more events of low probability occurring in the worst possible combination.

Accidents Murphy’s Laws Problems

Man is the only kind of varmint who sets his own trap, baits it, then steps on it.

(1902 – 1968) novelist
Accidents Animals People Problems